So, after a very emotional day on Sunday and lots of tears I have new found determination and optimism. Sometimes it just helps to let it out, right? Then you can move on!
As our vet so poetically advised, “well your only alternative now really is euthanasia, so what have you got to lose?!” so with this in mind and having talked to some other owners of dogs with seemingly very severe epilepsy, I am preparing for one last battle.
If H is with me and ready to fight, then I am too. Judging by the wonderful snuggles and cheeky little face he still has his determination isn’t waning and until I feel he signals to me enough is enough I won’t give up on him. Come on, I can’t face not having those velvety soft ears to rub and snuggle. I need them in my life a little bit longer please!
So to hell with what everyone believes, thinks, recommends and suggests or says about me behind my back. They’re not living through this hell, I am. Putting it bluntly, unless you have experienced owning a dog with severe epilepsy you have no idea what we’re going through so let us get on with it and keep your mouth shut, unless you’re being encouraging! 🙂
The next steps are controversial really, we go down the more holistic route but also attempt to wean off some of the meds gradually probably against the advice of both our vet and neurologist. BUT, Harrison is a special, unique case – always has been, always will be. So maybe this time, this more unique approach actually succeeds? All methods attempted so far are unsuccessful, so as our vet said, what have we got to lose. Essentially the outcome is the same. Right now, the only viable option is euthanasia when we decide this current seizure frequency is no longer sustainable (i.e. in a couple of weeks time realistically). So we try one more thing and if it doesn’t work the outcome is still the same. But if it succeeds (like it has for the ladies I’ve been talking to and their beautiful dogs) then we get to enjoy our sweet boy just that little bit longer.
To be honest, even if we only got another month or two with him, but it meant that precious time could be seizure free (or at least less frequent seizures), I would be happy with that. That way, we could spoil him rotten, say our goodbyes and give him the good send off he deserves.
Mother Nature, let your magic calm my poor sweet boy’s busy little brain.